Spending time in a fantasy world through a lovely daydream is guaranteed to be more enjoyable than any skiing trip to the Alps or fortnight in the Seychelles, it has been revealed.

Lloyd Didcot, 47, a spokesperson for the UK Tourism Board, said: “We’ve known for a while that people with autism are often reluctant to visit holiday destinations. We believed that this was simply down to a preference for familiarity and routine, but it turns out they’ve been fucking off somewhere better the whole time.”

Autistic woman Pippa Durham, 33, explained: “Many autistic people build highly detailed and immersive fantasy worlds, known as paracosms, and they beat pretty much any holiday hands-down. I’ve actually started booking two weeks off work every summer just so I can hang out in my cloud castle.”

“There are vending machines that dispense literally anything I fancy eating,” Durham continued. “The beef wellington is amazing. You should really try it. Oh no, wait – you can’t.”

“It’s all completely free and I don’t have to pack a suitcase before I leave. While you’re navigating airport security, I teleport by snuggling up in my cosy bed and closing my eyes.”

“I’ve got to go,” she added. “Tilda Swinton and Jimi Hendrix are expecting me at poolside bingo.”


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