Following recent headlines suggesting that a prominent backside may be a sign of neurodivergence, the world’s leading expert on prominent backsides has agreed to become an autism assessor, according to reports.
Sir Mix-a-Lot, 62, one of the only celebrities not to have a Controversies section on his Wikipedia page as of 2025, published his 1992 thesis on huge cabooses to great critical acclaim, and has since been consulted by governments worldwide on matters of big-backness.
Sir Mix-a-Lot commented: “I’m not the only one who’s noticed something unique about a big behind. Queen, Spinal Tap… my colleagues in the field can spot noteworthy cake faster than you can say ‘Great British Bake Off’.”
“I’m proud to lend my services to the healthcare system, replacing lengthy assessments with ass-essments. They walk in, turn around and get the diagnosis then and there. Plus, they’re already facing the door, so it’s even more convenient.”
“I get a lot of calls from concerned new parents. Thanks to my years of experience, I can tell them at a glance whether baby has, in fact, got back.”
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