An AuDHD woman has realised that she has enjoyed her latest horrible special interest for as long as polite company can really tolerate, and has been spotted tearfully leading it behind a barn while armed with a shotgun.

Ffiona Maw, 28, who over the past eight months has developed a ravenous hunger for reading about deep-sea depressurisation incidents and telling anyone who will listen about them, has gradually realised that bringing the subject up all the time – whether at work, in the pub, or in front of her increasingly horrified hairdresser – has probably run its course. At least if she wants to keep her job, her friends, and her fringe. As a result, Maw has reportedly come to the decision to put her special interest out of everyone else’s misery.

Maw said: “It all started innocently enough. I saw someone casually mention it online. I hadn’t heard about it before, so I started to do some research. It was horrible! Really gruesome and awful! So naturally I was absolutely fascinated, and had to read as much about it as I could!” At this point, Maw continued on the topic for another 10 minutes, drawing three genuinely unpleasant diagrams, the contents of which have been omitted from this piece for the sake of decency.

Maw’s friend, Mary Walker, 27, was relieved by the news, commenting. “I’m so glad this happened naturally. We were worried that we would have to stage another intervention. Like that time she filled the group chat with links about Transformers’ feet, and we had to sit her down to explain that we weren’t kink-shaming, just kink-asking-why.” 

At the time of publication, Maw had just been overheard loading a shotgun while whispering, “Don’t worry. It’ll be quick. Just like the Byford Dolphin accident in 1983.”

Like what you’re reading? Make us your new special interest! Help us grow The Daily Tism by sharing our articles, following us on Instagram, Bluesky, Threads and Facebook, shouting us a coffee on Ko-Fi or joining our bonus-content-packed Club for Terrible Autistics by subscribing to our Patreon. We also now have merch! Check out your favourite headlines in comfy wearable form over on Teemill.

Our audio sitcom by and for autistic people, It’s a Superpower?? is out weekly wherever you get podcasts! Binge the whole season early and ad-free on Patreon.

You can also watch episodes one and two of our sketch show, The Daily Tism News, in collaboration with Turtle Canyon Comedy, or listen to episode three in audio form – and tune into our podcast, Autistic Women Oversharing to find out WAY too much about our writers.

We also now have merch! Check out your favourite headlines in comfy wearable form over on Teemill.