An autistic girl has reportedly survived an attempted abduction by Pennywise the Dancing Clown after his attempt to lure her into the sewer with a single red balloon had the opposite effect.

Eight-year-old Mary Walker from Derry, Maine, was intended to be the first of the trans-dimensional malevolent entity’s snacks after his 27-year hibernation, but upon seeing the scary rubber thingy that might go ‘bang’ at any moment, Walker ran away faster than previous gym classes had indicated she was capable of. 

Pennywise the Dancing Clown commented: “I’m a shapeshifter who can take the form of whatever frightens a child most – but that’s not what the balloon was supposed to be for!”

“Most kids would give their right arm for one of these. That’s what the last one did.”

“I tried running after her with other things children enjoy – streamers, party poppers, I even tried to get her to pull a Christmas cracker. That only made her run away faster and weirder.”

Walker responded: “He was only planning to eat me? I thought he was going to sing Happy Birthday at me.”

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