An autistic woman trying running for the first time is reportedly stuck on the bit between leaving the house and returning home.
Talia Cohen, 40, decided to try to start running because she was too broke for a gym membership, and also because she had just turned 40 and was “terrified by the passage of time”. However, Cohen failed to realise that running is not a carefree endorphin-fest from day one, a fact which has disheartened her greatly.
“I started Couch to 5k,” said Cohen, “but I think they’ve gone wrong in even offering ‘Couch’ as an option. Of course I’d choose ‘Couch’.”
“I blame my friends for making running look so aspirational. They get up at 5am and track their personal bests and say things like ‘I don’t know how I’d live without my smartwatch’. What is their secret?”
Cohen’s friend, 43-year-old Paige Thomas, said: “The secret, Talia, is that something is deeply and intractably wrong with us.”
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