An autistic man is believed to have become a bit too good at masking, since he turned bright green and started whizzing around like Taz the Tasmanian devil, reports have confirmed. 

Ben Espenson, 40, was advised by his friends that he should be more outgoing and more open to new experiences. In response, he donned a garish yellow suit before rampaging through the city, thwarting a bank robbery, and indulging in a spot of Cuban dancing. 

Friend Jack Harrington, 42, said, “We went out for drinks and I suggested Ben could be a bit more lively. Immediately, he blared a horn in my face and got off with my wife. If I’m honest, it was all rather too lively.”

Espenson responded, “I swear autistic people can’t win. Do you want me to behave like a cartoon or not? This is why masking is so exhausting – all those nightclubs, bank robberies, prison escapes, explosives… I’m going for a lie down.”

It is rumoured that Epsenson will swap masking for camouflaging, after he was seen buying face paints and a full-body ghillie suit.


Like what you’re reading? Make us your new special interest! Help us grow The Daily Tism by sharing our articles, following us on InstagramBluesky, Threads and Facebook, shouting us a coffee on Ko-Fi or joining our bonus-content-packed Club for Terrible Autistics by subscribing to our Patreon. We also now have merch! Check out your favourite headlines in comfy wearable form over on Teemill.

You can also watch episodes one and two of our sketch show, The Daily Tism News, in collaboration with Turtle Canyon Comedy, or listen to episode three in audio form – and tune into our podcast, Autistic Women Oversharing to find out WAY too much about our writers.