An autistic man with a special interest in horses has been fired from his dream job as a horse racing commentator due to not being able to shut up about horses, sources have claimed.
Jack Harrington, 29, has reportedly been obsessed with horses for his entire life, and was overjoyed the day he started working as a racing commentator at Ascot. Unfortunately, the job required him to provide specific facts about specific horses – namely, which horse was currently in the lead, and which horse was trying to correct that – which soon warred against his all-consuming desire to tell everyone he can everything he knows about the powerful equine beasts.
“I couldn’t believe my luck,” Harrington said. “I got to talk to people about horses all day – on a huge tannoy system, no less – AND I got paid for it? It seemed too good to be true. Then I realised it was too good to be true, because they only wanted me to talk about boring things like who’s winning the race, as opposed to the really good stuff like that time a horse called Muhamed learned how to do clever sums.”
Harrington’s boss, Ryan Wilkins, 65, was reportedly sorry to see him go. He commented: “Jack was a sweet guy, and clearly passionate about horses, but once he was on that microphone I just couldn’t get him to focus on the race. He seemed so surprised to learn that the last thing a load of drunk gamblers want to hear is the life history of The Godolphin Arabian.”
Harrington reportedly found a new job as a cattle auctioneer, which allowed him to infodump about cow breeding at speeds no listener could ever hope to make sense of.
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