An AuDHD woman has had to reassure her bank for the millionth time that the suspicious activity on her account is just her behaving normally, sources have claimed.

Emma Bernard, 23, reportedly moves large sums of money between her current and savings accounts every time she thinks she’s about to magically become good with money and then moves it around again to save up for… something. She also makes small frequent purchases at the café that makes her current hyperfixation food, and at any moment is prone to developing a new habit that necessitates a large purchase at a niche online store.

Bernard said: “They keep calling to ask if my purchases were me, and I keep having to say ‘Yes, I know I have the spending patterns of someone committing financial crime, or perhaps selling drugs or engaging in some sort of crypto-based tomfoolery.”

“But it’s nothing like that. I just don’t really know how to money. The closest I’ve ever gotten to a budget is that time I decided to allocate 50% of my income to needs and then realised I lived in London and that was patently unrealistic.”

A spokesperson for the bank said: “Ms. Bernard’s spending recently became more sensible and predictable. On further investigation, it turned out her card had actually been stolen this time.”

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