An autistic woman’s many mental health crises can be charted via boxes of abandoned craft projects, it has been observed.
The boxes, which have taken up permanent residence in 41-year-old Krista Shure’s spare room in lieu of friends, reportedly reveal a complex archeology of breakups, firings and the time she had to wait weeks for the Stranger Things finale only for it to be a disappointing pile of wank.
Shure explained: “This was from my crochet era. Look, I almost made a tiny blob before giving up because I’m dyspraxic. Which is fitting, because I felt like a tiny blob after getting fired from my after-school job at a pretzel stand.”
“This box is from the first Trump administration,” Shure continued. “Which is when I got really into making tiny orange pincushion people. Somehow I made about 3000 of them but I can’t bear to throw them away in case one of them is the one that was going to do him in.”
“This is from my scrapbooking era. I started it when I was dating Dexter Livingstone, then he dumped me three pages in. You know what? This whole trip down memory lane has made me kind of sad. I’m just going to order an industrial-grade sewing machine.”
“Have a clearout?? No, this is my art – like Taylor Swift’s eras but with more Pritt Stick.”
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