An AuDHD woman at a gig reportedly singing along to about a third of the songs, if she’s lucky, genuinely does listen to the artist’s music all the time, it has been insisted. 

Emma Bernard, 24, who can reportedly “sort of dip in and out with a mixture of the actual lyrics and pure gibberish she’d die if anyone heard”, even went so far as to study for a Naethan Apollo concert, but only retained enough information for a C grade at best. 

Bernard commented: “I listen to Naethan Apollo every single day,” despite nobody having suggested otherwise, owing to Bernard wearing a mask that obscured her entire mouth and that not being a thing normal people do anyway. 

“It’s not even that I don’t listen to the lyrics! Obviously I deeply connect with the lyrics – that’s why I’m here. I just can’t remember any of them!”

“I’ve nearly memorised the whole of ‘Do What I Gotta’! Listen! I’ma do what I gotta! This shitty old tissue lucky for us though da da man man armada, since nobody else wanna elf on a shelf I’m a take care of Aldi drama…”

Bernard could not be reached for further comment as she was being politely escorted out of the O2 Academy.

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