An AuDHD man attempting to keep on top of the constant demands of his busy life by tracking tasks has expanded his to-do list to include blood-curdling screams at the horror of it all, sources have reported.
Paul Shinter, 45, recently made the decision to try and gain some control of his nonsense life by carefully listing what needs to be done each day, including five minutes of guttural wailing at this cursed timeline.
Shinter said: “It really has helped! Obviously there was a little roadblock where I spent a few days researching exactly which kind of notebook to buy, and the week or so when I got a bit too involved with Getting The Right Pen, but once I was out of those traps, things really improved!”
“It was life-changing,” Shinter continued. “But there was one problem – I found that my neat new schedule was being constantly interrupted by my bestial howling about all the unending vicious bastardry.”
Shinter soon realised that further efficiency was the key. “I figured, if I’m going to throw my head back and yell at the universe every day, I might as well fit it in between clearing the cats’ litter trays and sitting on the sofa to play some Zelda! And, what do you know, it worked!”
Even Shinter’s workmates have seen a dramatic improvement. Manager Anand Trivedi, 43, commented: “Paul really seems to be thriving! At 12pm every day he has a meeting room booked. It’s only for five minutes, and while he’s inside there’s a terrible noise that makes all the windows rattle, but then he comes out much cheerier, if a little hoarse.”
At the time of writing, Shinter was looking into buying a bullet journal, in order to determine the most efficient way to shake his fist at an uncaring God.
Like what you’re reading? Make us your new special interest! Help us grow The Daily Tism by sharing our articles, following us on Instagram, Bluesky, Threads and Facebook, shouting us a coffee on Ko-Fi or joining our bonus-content-packed Club for Terrible Autistics by subscribing to our Patreon. We also now have merch! Check out your favourite headlines in comfy wearable form over on Teemill.
You can also watch episodes one and two of our sketch show, The Daily Tism News, in collaboration with Turtle Canyon Comedy, or listen to episode three in audio form – and tune into our podcast, Autistic Women Oversharing to find out WAY too much about our writers.