An autistic woman has forgotten to do Socially Acceptable Public Eating while in company, according to eyewitnesses.

Siobhan Moorton, 49, masks hard whenever she has to eat around other people, but was recently caught off guard at a work brunch when a plate of chicken and waffles caused her to enter a flow state.

Moorton said: “The place was advertised as ‘home cooking’, and they delivered on that promise so well that I briefly did feel like I was at home. My usual hypervigilance slipped for a second and suddenly I had abandoned my ‘normie’ eating in favour of making tiny waffle sandwichettes, distributing syrup into the little squares like a master craftswoman and adding an equally-sized sliver of chicken into every other square.”

“I was opposite the COO, who was eating spaghetti with a fork and spoon like she’d been to charm school. The sauce was only ever on the plate or in her mouth. She’d have been hanged for witchcraft in the days of yore.”

Moorton’s boss, Krista Shure, 38, said: “Siobhan’s unrestrained whimsy is hard for me, a disciple of the Church of Knife and Fork, to comprehend.”

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