An autistic woman’s first job has ended in disaster after she discovered that “on-the-job-training” means chucking you in the deep end without so much as a pair of inflatable armbands, sources have claimed.

Mary Walker, 20, started her first job a week ago at Lenny’s Burgers and Stuff, which seemed promising after advertising itself as “the go-to eatery for burgers and stuff”, but she quickly found that her induction was just being shoved in front of a fryer with volcanic temperatures and a tendency to randomly spit hot greasy globules at her. 

Walker commented: “They showed me how to make one burger before the lunch rush started and then expected me to be as fast as a machine while dodging third-degree burns.”

“I quit after an hour,” Walker continued. “While walking out, I gave Lenny the finger and shouted to customers ‘I counted 23 health-code violations, enjoy your E. coli!’”

“My only regret was not giving Lenny two fingers.” 

Lenny denied our request for comment, likely due to being plagued with one-star reviews, one of which stated: “Good for her. Their burgers should be classified as a crime against humanity.”

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