An AuDHD man’s quick glance at Wikipedia ended after 96 hours and a small nap, sources have revealed.

Wallace Murray, 36, who decided to use the popular community-led encyclopaedia to remind himself of the MS-DOS game Ken’s Labyrinth, was only intending to briefly dabble in a moment of nostalgia, but instead accidentally activated the secret-time travel button only visible to autistics.

Murray explained: “I’m not sure what happened. I remembered this old game, so I thought I’d look it up. That should have been that, but then I saw the programmer went on to design the Build engine, so I obviously had to click through to that, and then before I knew it four whole days had suddenly passed, I had 200 missed calls, and my eyes sounded like doors in a haunted house every time I tried to blink.”

Professor Alix Gardner, 45, lead researcher at The Institute For Why Are We Like This, commented: “In the past, these needs would have had to be met by ruthlessly categorising butterflies, or getting really into different kinds of rock strata and forgetting to bathe, but now with Wikipedia, autistic people can acquire and forget a lifetime’s worth of knowledge in the space of a long weekend.”

When asked if he had learned his lesson, Murray said: “You know, this actually reminds me of something. It was…it was… Hang on. Let me quickly check something.”

Murray has not since responded to our request for follow-up comments.


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