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    News

    Friend autistic woman likes but wasn’t expecting to see might as well be Slenderman 

    Elsa Williams, 5 hours ago 2 min read  

    An autistic woman who unexpectedly bumped into a good friend while out is reportedly unsure of why she’s reacted like she’s encountered a terrifying creature coming at her with outstretched limbs. Beth Hapworth, 31, from Ormskirk, was taking a pleasant evening stroll around her local…

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    News

    Trains! This autistic woman challenges autism stereotypes by being stereotypically autistic  

    An autistic woman has challenged the stereotype that women don’t always fit the autism stereotype by being stereotypically autistic, sources have confirmed.  Beth Hapworth, 29, who was diagnosed in childhood, loves trains and has never so much as attempted to fake eye contact by looking...
    Sara Gibbs, 1 day ago 1 min read  
    News

    Autistic Dorothy just trying to get back to nice, dark Kansas 

    An autistic teenager transported into magical a world of technicolour has reportedly been left “desperate” to find her way home, away from all the horrible technicolour. Dorothy Gale, 16, from Kansas, described the land of Oz as “ow, my eyes”. Gale commented: “To be honest,...
    Elsa Williams, 2 days ago 1 min read  
    Health, News

    They didn’t have autism in my day, says man unaware he had autism in his day  

    A man who claims that nobody had autism “in his day” is reportedly unaware that he both had autism in his day and that the sun has not yet set on his day.  Gavin Monks, 65 – who books his car in for regular services...
    Sara Gibbs, 3 days ago 1 min read  
    News, Science

    Science! Autistic person discovers solving one anxiety spawns 14 new ones  

    An autistic person has made the groundbreaking discovery that resolving the source of one anxiety causes at least 14 new ones to pop up, like adding water to a Gremlin, it has been announced. Eli Port, 41, made the breakthrough after their boss asking them...
    Sara Gibbs, 4 days ago 2 min read  
    Lifestyle, News

    Autistic woman attempts to move in to cat café 

    An autistic woman has been apprehended by staff at a cat café after attempting to live there permanently, sources have claimed. Megan Aldrich, 30, arrived at Purrfect Paradise in Basingstoke with four large suitcases and 17 houseplants. In an effort to blend in with the...
    Laura Richmond, 5 days ago 1 min read  
    News

    Autistic woman totally dyes hair blue to piss off incels 

    An autistic woman has revealed that she mostly dyes her hair blue in order to annoy basement-dwelling dweebs who think women can’t be autistic.  Niamh Callaghan, 27, reportedly likes her blue hair, but not as much as she likes being the physical manifestation of an...
    Sara Gibbs, 6 days ago 1 min read  
    News

    I changed your safe food recipe, admits Satan  

    The devil has admitted that he quietly changed the standard recipe of your favourite ready meal just to ruin your life. In a statement released today, Lucifer, 13.7 billion, took responsibility for turning your delicious, creamy mac and cheese with a sexy golden brown crust...
    Sara Gibbs, 1 week ago 1 min read  
    Friendships, News

    Friend still fuming at you for skipping her birthday drinks shares autism awareness post 

    Your neurotypical friend who was seething at you for days for prematurely leaving her social gathering has just reposted a touching Instagram story honouring autism awareness, according to reports. Lottie Fitzgerald, 26, shared the infographic of a lone puzzle piece captioned, “really important to be...
    Elsa Williams, 1 week ago 2 min read  
    Family, News, Relationships

    Eccentric dad has “no idea” where you got your autism from 

    Your dad, the most singularly unique individual you’ve ever met, reportedly has no idea where you got your autism from. Perhaps best known for helping to bring you into the world, your father owns seven identical shirts, shouts at people for eating crisps within earshot,...
    Sarah Amero, 1 week ago 2 min read  
    News, Work

    Tragic! Autistic woman meets all job requirements except sparkling charisma 

    An autistic woman who meets every one of a job’s specifications has been left dismayed to discover she also needed a PhD in ungodly amounts of charm, it has been reported. Paige Thomas, 31, from Doncaster, has three degrees and almost a decade of relevant...
    Elsa Williams, 1 week ago 1 min read  
    Friendships, News

    Maybe I should have talked about my special interest more, says autistic man ghosted by friend  

    An autistic man whose friend disappeared on him has been left wondering if perhaps he failed to sufficiently monologue at them about his current hyperfixation, it has been rumoured. Dexter Livingstone, 45, only managed to deliver 19 multi-hour voice-note lectures about Star Trek Voyager to...
    Andrew Hickey, 2 weeks ago 1 min read  
    News

    Gen X autistic woman has rare triple invisibility 

    Headline by Andrew Hickey An autistic woman born in 1975 has been diagnosed with the rare comborbid condition of being invisible three times over, it has been reported. Paula Mulberry, 49, used to be a fully corporeal human being, but since turning 40 has slowly...
    Sara Gibbs, 2 weeks ago 2 min read  
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