A woman who suffers from not having autism will tragically lead an entirely ordinary life, sources have confirmed.
Becky Armitage, 35, whose hair is an ordinary blonde colour without a single streak of rainbow in there, has been written off by doctors as “profoundly basic”.
Clinical psychologist, Dr. Karen Hoyland, who specialises in late-diagnosed non-autistic women, said: “Becky is doomed to a life of team sports and hen parties until she inevitably loses her life at an ill-planned gender reveal.”
“We’re doing all we can for her,” added Dr. Hoyland. “But our best therapies, such as electric shocking her whenever she says ‘holibobs’ don’t seem to be effective.”
Armitage commented: “Can we talk about this later, babes? Love Island is on.”
Like what you’re reading? Make us your new special interest! Help us grow The Daily Tism by sharing our articles, following us on Instagram, Bluesky, Threads and Facebook, shouting us a coffee on Ko-Fi or joining our bonus-content-packed Club for Terrible Autistics by subscribing to our Patreon. We also now have merch! Check out your favourite headlines in comfy wearable form over on Teemill.
You can also watch episodes one and two of our sketch show, The Daily Tism News, in collaboration with Turtle Canyon Comedy, or listen to episode three in audio form – and tune into our podcast, Autistic Women Oversharing to find out WAY too much about our writers.
