A job advert written by a neurotypical HR manager is actually a big sack of stupid lies, sources have revealed.
The advert, which claims that the company values honesty and direct communication, and “fosters a culture of respect and integrity” might as well have followed on with “THIS IS A TRICK” in bright-red 72-point font.
Paul Shinter, 43, the HR manager who wrote the advert, seems to genuinely believe the nonsense he’s written, in spite of the fact that he is practically allergic to issuing a clear instruction.
Shinter explained: “We really are looking for a candidate who speaks their mind. Someone who isn’t afraid to let us hear uncomfortable truths. After all, how else do we grow?”
Shinter’s direct report, Sarah Harrow, 35, commented: “Paul once asked me what I thought about a piece he had written for the company newsletter. As an AuDHD woman, I told him very clearly what I thought about it. His face went visibly white and that year he ‘forgot’ to invite me to the Christmas party.”
“The man speaks in riddles, like some sort of wizard or fairy trickster,” Harrow added. “Last week he asked me if I’d left anything by the printer, but it turns out he ACTUALLY meant he wanted me to stay late that day to finish writing a report! How was I supposed to deduce that?!”
At the time of publication, the big fibbing job advert contained other such porkers as “we want you to have a good work-life balance”, “we think of ourselves as a family more than a team”, and the frankly outrageous whopper “offering you a rewarding career”.
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