A teenage girl is utterly mortified that her autistic mother continues to be all sorts of weird and sometimes even has the audacity to leave the house, sources have confirmed.
Avery Mann, 14, insists that Sarah Mann, 47, walk six paces behind her in the street at all times. She tried dyeing her hair blue to distract from any family resemblance, but her mother had gotten there first.
“At the start of the school term, I found that Mum had packed me what she described on a Hello Kitty post-it note as ‘the ultimate pencilcase’,” Mann explained. “I don’t need my name engraved on all my pencils, Mum. Jesus.”
“I can’t even have my friends over, because the house is full of Mum’s porcelain dolls. You walk in the front door and they’re all turned to face you. I invited this one girl, Paige, and she just took one look and fled, screaming.”
“I cringed so hard I literally turned inside out. Literally.”
Sarah Mann responded, “I find that the older I get, the fewer fucks I have to give. Avery still has a plentiful supply of fucks, but she’s using them up at such a rate, it can’t last long. You could say that I’m helping her.”
Avery’s reply was inaudible, as she was already half way up the stairs, but it sounded a lot like: “This is why Dad left you.”
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