An autistic woman who just told you she’s polyamorous has absolutely no interest in banging you, so chill the fuck out, sources have revealed. 

Sarah Harrow, 27, who currently has two romantic partners and the busiest effing iPhone calendar you’ve ever seen, not only doesn’t have time to add you to the roster but wouldn’t want to even if she did. 

Harrow said: “You don’t need to look so bloody anxious. I’m not recruiting – and even if I was… no thank you?”

She added: “Don’t flatter yourself, mate.”

In response to you saying: “God, I couldn’t do that,” Harrow commented: “Good. You don’t have to.”

Like what you’ve read so far? Make us your new special interest! Help us grow The Daily Tism by sharing our articles, following us on InstagramXBluesky  TikTok and Facebook and subscribing to our Patreon for exclusive content that’ll have your neurotypical family saying “I’m not sure I’m the target audience”.