An autistic stand-up comedian has had his rejection-sensitive dysphoria triggered after a ghost booed him, it has been reported. Performer Lucas Fletcher, 32, was initially excited when he heard the pub he was performing in was haunted, but was left “devastated” when an apparition of...

An autistic woman who swore she spotted a pink willy witches coven actually stumbled across a hen night, it has been confirmed.  Emma Bernard, 25, from Liverpool, observed the terrifying scene whilst walking home through the city centre last Saturday evening.  Bernard explained: “A loud...

An autistic woman recently inspired by The Exorcist (1973) is refusing to leave her bed this Halloween, according to reports.  Siobhan Moorton, 34, from Newton-le-Willows, issued the statement: “I’m not depressed, I’m possessed.”  “Honestly, I’ve been having such a rough mental health time recently,” Moorton’s...

An auDHD woman is basically a serial killer but for special interests, authorities have claimed. Police discovered a vast graveyard of remnants of bygone special interests in the residence of Ffiona Maw, 40, with the accused allegedly having kept trophies from over 200 victims.  PC...

An autistic person about to risk running into somebody they knew in public described themselves as “grateful” to be dragged away by a scary clown, say sources. Kit McGodden, 26, was walking through the ASDA car park when they spotted former schoolteacher Sarah Harrow, 56,...

An autistic woman in a slasher movie has become the final girl by default thanks to her aversion to picking up phone calls. Lottie Fitzgerald, 21, was reportedly the intended victim of anonymous murderer, Ghostface, but despite numerous attempts, she could not be contacted.  Ghostface...

An autistic woman doesn’t have to wait until Halloween to freak herself out due to grappling with existential despair 365 nights a year, it has been reported.  Every evening, Niamh Callaghan, 31, from Manchester, journeys through a real-life horror film – happening in her head. ...

An autistic boy’s Halloween costume has caused him to be repeatedly be mistaken for a ghost despite him clearly being a boy wearing a sheet with eye holes cut out, sources have revealed.  Finley Rice, seven, had been excited to unveil his homemade costume, but...

Forget the straitjacket costumes! It’s time to REALLY dress mentally ill. Frighten all your friends on October 31st… by dressing like a regular person. To get that fresh-from-the-insane-asylum look, you’ll need a comfy sweater, some tracksuit bottoms and… wait, that’s it, you’re done! Who would...

An autistic woman has scared everybody shitless by unmasking her autism for Halloween, according to reports. Emma Bernard, 30, from Leicester, has spent the day terrifying colleagues at the office by commiting to the horrifying act of being herself. Despite one overzealous coworker turning up...

An autistic woman has announced plans to scare trick-or-treaters away by appointing a severed head carved from a spooky orange vegetable the guardian of her door.  Megan Aldrich, 40, made the decision after last year’s hanging skeleton failed have the desired effect.  Aldrich explained: “I...