An autistic woman with no prior athletics training has successfully broken the 100m World Record trying to get away from the smell of Wanky Candles, eyewitnesses report.

Chi-Young Lee, 21, was completing a weekly shop at the local supermarket when her usual route through the aisles took her into a new, seasonal candle section.

“Usually it’s just bedding and other homeware,” explained Lee. “But after a few steps a sharp cinnamon scent became a whirling miasma of nasal chaos. The air was claggy, my vision went dark, and I just ran.”

Her desperate sprint up the high street was clocked by CCTV at an astonishing twenty-three miles per hour. According to Lee, she only stopped when she caught the whiff of a Lush in the distance.

Athletics coach Wallace Murray, 63, says that Lee has a long road ahead of her with professional training. “We had a quick go on the track to see if she could replicate her time, but once the starter pistol went off she just hid under a blanket for three hours.”

A representative for Wanky Candles presented Lee with a new unscented candle to commemorate her historic achievement. The world-record holder could not be reached for further comment as she was last seen running directly into the sea.


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