The government is set to test a national emergency message that will alert the public if an autistic woman plans to apologise to them for no reason. 

Emma Bernard, 41, has previously sprung “awkward and unnecessary” apologies on friends, colleagues and passers by, with no warning.

A government statement said: “Past apologies by Bernard for things nobody else noticed or cared about have come without any time to prepare and have, according to survivors, ‘made things even weirder’.”

“Ex-lovers and current work colleagues of Bernard’s have been said to be at particular risk, but we understand that she can strike at any time.”

“It is said that Bernard can lie dormant for years, re-emerging when you least expect her. We urge the public to check their mobile device settings and to stockpile reassuring platitudes.”

Bernard commented: “Oh God, really? The whole nation? I’m so sorry.”


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