Your neurotypical relative has revealed themselves to be a creative genius after inventing an entirely new way to make you feel like an overgrown toddler, it has been rumoured.
Karen Hoyland, 57, reportedly upped her game after burning through “you must be very mild”, “we’re all a bit on the spectrum” and “you poor thing”, amongst many other classics.
At her 57th birthday celebration, Hoyland said: “I know how much you love mac and cheese so thought you might like to sit on the kids’ table.”
“Could you not just eat whatever you want at the big table?” Hoyland continued. “But then you wouldn’t get the special colouring book and crayons I got you.”
“Look – your one has trains! Choo choo!”
“Oh dear, you don’t look very happy,” Hoyland added. “Do you need to go boomboom? Do you need someone to go with you?”
Hoyland was last seen setting your place at the table with a teeny tiny chair intended for toddlers because “she thought you’d be more comfortable.”
Like what you’re reading? Make us your new special interest! Help us grow The Daily Tism by sharing our articles, following us on Instagram, Bluesky, Threads and Facebook, shouting us a coffee on Ko-Fi or joining our bonus-content-packed Club for Terrible Autistics by subscribing to our Patreon. We also now have merch! Check out your favourite headlines in comfy wearable form over on Teemill.
You can also watch episodes one and two of our sketch show, The Daily Tism News, in collaboration with Turtle Canyon Comedy, or listen to episode three in audio form – and tune into our podcast, Autistic Women Oversharing to find out WAY too much about our writers.