We’ve all been there. Whom amongst us has not made a little joke for a bit of fun, and then looked on in horror as it was taken seriously, frozen in silent dread as the realisation hits that the person you are talking to now thinks you are an absolute tit?
Luckily, The Daily Tism is here to help. Whether you have said “I can’t at the moment – I’ve got a lot on” to a guy at a shopping centre who has asked if you want to try paintballing, or asked a visiting tradesman, just before he enters your house: “Are you okay with snakes?” before following up with a chuckle and “I don’t have one, I was just asking!”, we have all the hints and tips you need to flee the country and start a new life.
Step one: Remove yourself from the conversation
Once you realise that a joke has been taken seriously, you need to remove yourself from the situation ASAP. Either laugh weakly and walk away, or pretend to answer the phone. Either way, this gives you time to think and, more crucially, escape.
Step two: Board the nearest flight to a non-extradition country
You’re not sure that making a joke only to have a person think you are deeply weird is a crime, but why take that risk?
Step three: Assume a new identity and start afresh
Take on an exciting new name, such as Ignacio Pantaloon, or Belissima Manticore, and set yourself up as an exotic bird handler, or famous surgeon. Your life is now your own, and no one need ever know about your excruciating secret shame ever again.
Step four: Enjoy your new life before inevitably doing it again.
Oh God. Why are you like this?
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