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    Family, News

    Shock! Autistic woman’s mother hasn’t commented on diet, clothes or lifestyle yet 

    An autistic woman’s mother has aroused shock and suspicion after going five minutes without a single comment about her daughter’s life choices, eyewitnesses have claimed. Natasha Weaving, 34, met her mother Christine, 65, for brunch, expecting all manner of commentary on her hastily thrown-together outfit,...
    Sarah Amero, 3 days ago 2 min read  
    Family, News

    “Spoiled” autistic child would rather not be in constant sensory hell  

    An “overly pampered” autistic child would prefer to not feel like everything is perpetually flashing, screeching and smacking her directly in the brain, sources have confirmed.  Six-year-old Mary Walker, who flies into inexplicable rages when everything in her immediate environment goes bleepy bloopy bleep blorp,...
    Sara Gibbs, 2 weeks ago 1 min read  
    Family, News

    “My fault?” Mum determined to make your autism diagnosis all about her 

    Your mother is determined to make your late autism diagnosis all about herself somehow, it has been announced.  Tricia Squire, 54, has reportedly decided to process your life-changing news by listing everything she remembers eating during her pregnancy 30 years ago and querying if “maybe...
    Sara Gibbs, 2 weeks ago 1 min read  
    Family, News

    Missing! AuDHD family devastated after beloved household money runs away  

    An AuDHD family has reportedly been left bereft after their household money mysteriously ran away, like a wayward pet.  Parents of two, Dexter and Paige Livingstone, both 39, tried to take good care of their money and give it the best possible life in a...
    Sara Gibbs, 1 month ago 1 min read  
    Family, Health, News

    Kids think they’re autistic because of social contagion, says mum who wants hers to catch measles   

    Children are catching autism from other kids, according to a mother who took her own offspring to a measles party.  Karen Hoyland, 35, who believes both vaccines and having friends cause autism, actively encourages her six-year-old son Finley to get potentially deadly measles for reasons...
    Sara Gibbs, 1 month ago 1 min read  
    Family, News, Relationships

    Eccentric dad has “no idea” where you got your autism from 

    Your dad, the most singularly unique individual you’ve ever met, reportedly has no idea where you got your autism from. Perhaps best known for helping to bring you into the world, your father owns seven identical shirts, shouts at people for eating crisps within earshot,...
    Sarah Amero, 2 months ago 2 min read  
    Family, News

    Innovative! Neurotypical relative discovers new way to patronise you 

    Your neurotypical relative has revealed themselves to be a creative genius after inventing an entirely new way to make you feel like an overgrown toddler, it has been rumoured.  Karen Hoyland, 57, reportedly upped her game after burning through “you must be very mild”, “we’re...
    Sara Gibbs, 3 months ago 1 min read  
    Family, Health, News

    Autistic woman in need of therapy as long as she continues having parents 

    An autistic woman is expected to need therapy for as long as she continues having parents, it has been reported. Ellie Mulligan, 29, has been going to therapy ever since she learned that other people don’t feel terrible all the time. Although she has made...
    Sarah Amero, 4 months ago 2 min read  
    Family, News

    Heroes! Parents who love autistic child eagerly await medal  

    Self-described “autism parents” who “love their child with autism” have reportedly been left disappointed after discovering there’s no medal for loving your own offspring. Graeme and Karen Hoyland, both 38, have insisted that they wouldn’t change seven-year-old Finley Rice for the world – “even though...
    Sara Gibbs, 5 months ago 1 min read  
    Family, News

    Outrage! Woman’s neurotype that explains entire life is her whole personality 

    An autistic woman has allegedly bored friends and family members to tears after “making autism her entire personality”, say reports. Beth Haworth, 29, from Chester, was diagnosed six months ago – and hasn’t stopped obsessively researching her lifelong autistic brain on the Internet ever since....
    Elsa Williams, 6 months ago 1 min read  
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