Autistic woman mad at you for “no reason” actually has hyper-specific grievance
An autistic woman accused of being “irrationally angry” actually has an incredibly specific and justifiable reason for being pissed off with you, it has been rumoured. Niamh Callaghan, 29, reportedly became unreasonably furious with you when all you did was eat an ice cream –...
Autistic woman’s fictional boyfriend breaks up with her for her own good
An autistic woman has been left distraught after her fictional boyfriend ended their one-sided imaginary relationship, it has been reported. Paige Thomas, 29, was enjoying an intense whirlwind romance with fictional vampire Robert Noot, 9254, the protagonist of her favourite fantasy book series, when he...
Autistic woman receives Mother’s Day cards from everyone she has ever dated
An autistic woman has received an influx of Mother’s Day cards from every ex who treated her like a surrogate mother, according to sources. Siobhan Moorton, 36, has never had a child of her own – yet has helped to raise numerous adult children who...
Autistic woman worried her mugs have realised she has a favourite
An autistic woman is facing an ethical dilemma over her preference for drinking out of one particular mug, it has been revealed. Lottie Fitzgerald, 35, from Southsea, has developed a strong attachment to a blue studio pottery mug she was given last Christmas. She reports...
Huh? Autistic woman wondering how she became centre of friend group drama
An autistic woman minding her own business has somehow become the scapegoat for friend-group beef that has absolutely nothing to do with her, it has been rumoured. Third-year Law student, Ellie Mulligan, 22, was reportedly “just trying to have a nice, chill time” when she...
AuDHD woman who forgot to text you back a decade ago wondering if it’s too late
An AuDHD woman who forgot to reply to your message ten years ago has spent the subsequent decade deliberating over how to re-instigate contact, sources have claimed. Freya Emerson, 35, reportedly failed to respond to your casual request for a coffee as she didn’t know...
Autistic woman in need of therapy as long as she continues having parents
An autistic woman is expected to need therapy for as long as she continues having parents, it has been reported. Ellie Mulligan, 29, has been going to therapy ever since she learned that other people don’t feel terrible all the time. Although she has made...
“I’d be up for that” says autistic person who will absolutely cancel
An autistic person has cheerfully responded to plans in a WhatsApp group chat knowing full well they intend to back out later, according to reports. Jay Chester, 28, from Ellesmere Port, reportedly sent non-committal messages to the group such as “that sounds great” and “oh,...
Autistic woman’s cat begs her to expand social circle
An autistic woman’s cat has reportedly begged her to expand her social circle after becoming concerned at her lack of human friends. Fudge Cake, seven, from Canvey Island, became worried about his owner, Emma Bernard, 29, after she told him he was “the only friend...
Heroes! Parents who love autistic child eagerly await medal
Self-described “autism parents” who “love their child with autism” have reportedly been left disappointed after discovering there’s no medal for loving your own offspring. Graeme and Karen Hoyland, both 38, have insisted that they wouldn’t change seven-year-old Finley Rice for the world – “even though...
