“Spoiled” autistic child would rather not be in constant sensory hell
An “overly pampered” autistic child would prefer to not feel like everything is perpetually flashing, screeching and smacking her directly in the brain, sources have confirmed. Six-year-old Mary Walker, who flies into inexplicable rages when everything in her immediate environment goes bleepy bloopy bleep blorp,...
“My fault?” Mum determined to make your autism diagnosis all about her
Your mother is determined to make your late autism diagnosis all about herself somehow, it has been announced. Tricia Squire, 54, has reportedly decided to process your life-changing news by listing everything she remembers eating during her pregnancy 30 years ago and querying if “maybe...
Autistic woman unable to start conversations discovers talent for bringing them to a screeching halt
An autistic woman who struggles to start conversations has discovered a talent for bringing them to an abrupt and uncomfortable end, sources have said. Paige Thomas, 44, never knows what to say when speaking to friends and family, but, once she finally works up the...
Missing! AuDHD family devastated after beloved household money runs away
An AuDHD family has reportedly been left bereft after their household money mysteriously ran away, like a wayward pet. Parents of two, Dexter and Paige Livingstone, both 39, tried to take good care of their money and give it the best possible life in a...
Kids think they’re autistic because of social contagion, says mum who wants hers to catch measles
Children are catching autism from other kids, according to a mother who took her own offspring to a measles party. Karen Hoyland, 35, who believes both vaccines and having friends cause autism, actively encourages her six-year-old son Finley to get potentially deadly measles for reasons...
Autistic woman actually more of a manic pixie reality girl
An autistic woman frequently mistaken for a manic pixie dream girl is actually more of a manic pixie cold-hard-dose-of-reality girl, it has been confirmed. Beth Hapworth, 26, who is often confused by straight men for the whimsical nymph of their male-gazey fantasies, will, in fact,...
Friend still fuming at you for skipping her birthday drinks shares autism awareness post
Your neurotypical friend who was seething at you for days for prematurely leaving her social gathering has just reposted a touching Instagram story honouring autism awareness, according to reports. Lottie Fitzgerald, 26, shared the infographic of a lone puzzle piece captioned, “really important to be...
Eccentric dad has “no idea” where you got your autism from
Your dad, the most singularly unique individual you’ve ever met, reportedly has no idea where you got your autism from. Perhaps best known for helping to bring you into the world, your father owns seven identical shirts, shouts at people for eating crisps within earshot,...
Maybe I should have talked about my special interest more, says autistic man ghosted by friend
An autistic man whose friend disappeared on him has been left wondering if perhaps he failed to sufficiently monologue at them about his current hyperfixation, it has been rumoured. Dexter Livingstone, 45, only managed to deliver 19 multi-hour voice-note lectures about Star Trek Voyager to...
Autistic woman who followed your profile by accident now in it for life
An autistic woman who accidentally clicked “follow” on your social media profile will never, ever, ever be able to bring herself to unfollow you, it has been rumoured. According to sources, Siobhan Moorton, 36, doesn’t want to hurt your feelings, despite having no connection to...
