“We mustn’t leave it so long next time” says AuDHD friend who’ll see you in a decade
An AuDHD friend who has vowed to get better at staying in touch will see you whenever the next parent dies, sources have confirmed. Jay Chester, 40, can’t believe it’s been so long since you last met up and genuinely intends to remedy the issue...
Housemates’ conflicting sensory needs predicted to result in horrifying bloodbath
A neurodivergent household in which individuals have differing sensory needs is a situation that can only end in some sort of four-way duel, experts have warned. The warning came after residents of a suburban dwelling in Nottingham recently reported an ambulance permanently parked outside their...
Autistic woman enjoying herself on date wonders what the catch is
An autistic woman having a wonderful time on a date has become increasingly suspicious after failing to detect anything wrong with it, according to reports. Beth Hapworth, 27, became wary of 26-year-old Noah Fields over the course of their dinner date after he revealed himself...
Report: Autistic woman really just going to keep on dating the guy she wishes he was, huh
An autistic woman has made the bold decision to keep dating the impressive man she wishes he was, instead of the horrid little worm boy he actually is, it has been announced. Sarah Harrow, 27, first fell for Dexter Livingstone, 31, after he initially presented...
“You can unmask with me” says neurotypical who doesn’t realise you’re feral
A non-autistic friend who wants you to feel safe to unmask with them has no idea what they’re saying, it has been confirmed. Eli Port, 44, would like you to be comfortable enough to be your true self – but is reportedly unaware that your...
Uh oh! AuDHD man finds someone polite enough to be captive audience
An AuDHD man is reportedly “chewing the ear off” a new acquaintance who’s too nice to simply wander off like everybody else does. Mac Wheatley, 38, was delighted to find himself seated next to Anand Trivedi, 46, at a mutual friend’s wedding, after Trivedi proved...
Shock! Autistic woman’s mother hasn’t commented on diet, clothes or lifestyle yet
An autistic woman’s mother has aroused shock and suspicion after going five minutes without a single comment about her daughter’s life choices, eyewitnesses have claimed. Natasha Weaving, 34, met her mother Christine, 65, for brunch, expecting all manner of commentary on her hastily thrown-together outfit,...
Autistic and ADHD friends realise they have never retained a single fact about each other
A pair of lifelong friends have recently realised they know almost nothing about each other thanks to their autism and ADHD, it has been reported. Ben Espenson, 24, who is autistic, and Naveed Azkhat, 25, who has ADHD, harbour a great deal of affection towards...
Autistic woman prefers direct communication unless she has to do it
An autistic woman who would prefer for others to deliver difficult truths to her without any ambiguity would also rather die than say a single stressful thing directly into another person’s face, it has been rumoured. Beth Hapworth, 38, who needs clear and direct communication...
“Spoiled” autistic child would rather not be in constant sensory hell
An “overly pampered” autistic child would prefer to not feel like everything is perpetually flashing, screeching and smacking her directly in the brain, sources have confirmed. Six-year-old Mary Walker, who flies into inexplicable rages when everything in her immediate environment goes bleepy bloopy bleep blorp,...
