Autistic woman who followed your profile by accident now in it for life
An autistic woman who accidentally clicked “follow” on your social media profile will never, ever, ever be able to bring herself to unfollow you, it has been rumoured. According to sources, Siobhan Moorton, 36, doesn’t want to hurt your feelings, despite having no connection to...
Autistic woman beginning to suspect spouse of 60 years has a thing for her
An autistic woman reportedly suspects she may have a secret admirer – the man she has been married to for six decades. Christine Smout, 84, caught her husband Anand, 81, sneaking glances at her across the kitchen table. She thought nothing of it at first,...
I’ll call you later, friend threatens
Your friend has threatened to call you on the telephone at an indeterminate point in the future, reports have claimed. “Friend” Kelsey Dacey, 36, reportedly issued the threat to call you “for a bit of a natter”, in what sources are calling “a naked act...
Dinner host wishing they’d never asked for your dietary requirements
A friend who invited you over for dinner now wishes they’d never asked for your dietary requirements, met you, or been born, it has been rumoured. Olivia Buckingham, 32, who just thought it would be nice to have you over for a catch-up, reportedly didn’t...
Consistent! Person who says you’re not autistic gives you most shit for acting autistic
The person in your life who’s convinced you’re not really autistic at all is also the hardest on you about every single autistic trait you exhibit, it has been confirmed. Karen Hoyland, 58, who insists you were just fine until you got this autism nonsense...
Innovative! Neurotypical relative discovers new way to patronise you
Your neurotypical relative has revealed themselves to be a creative genius after inventing an entirely new way to make you feel like an overgrown toddler, it has been rumoured. Karen Hoyland, 57, reportedly upped her game after burning through “you must be very mild”, “we’re...
Autistic boomer man unaware he’s new female friend’s reply guy
An autistic man in his 60s who recently began communicating a well-known woman in her early 20s online is reportedly referring to her as his “good friend, Paige.” Robert Noot, 63, who followed 23-year-old influencer Paige Thomas on Bluesky one month ago, now thinks of...
Autistic woman mad at you for “no reason” actually has hyper-specific grievance
An autistic woman accused of being “irrationally angry” actually has an incredibly specific and justifiable reason for being pissed off with you, it has been rumoured. Niamh Callaghan, 29, reportedly became unreasonably furious with you when all you did was eat an ice cream –...
Autistic woman’s fictional boyfriend breaks up with her for her own good
An autistic woman has been left distraught after her fictional boyfriend ended their one-sided imaginary relationship, it has been reported. Paige Thomas, 29, was enjoying an intense whirlwind romance with fictional vampire Robert Noot, 9254, the protagonist of her favourite fantasy book series, when he...
Autistic woman receives Mother’s Day cards from everyone she has ever dated
An autistic woman has received an influx of Mother’s Day cards from every ex who treated her like a surrogate mother, according to sources. Siobhan Moorton, 36, has never had a child of her own – yet has helped to raise numerous adult children who...
