Woman who spent life masking autism to avoid attention now accused of faking autism for attention
A late-discovered autistic woman who spent her whole life masking her autistic traits in order to avoid attracting attention has recently been accused of faking her autism diagnosis to obtain said attention. Avery Mann, 31, received her autism diagnosis after four years on an NHS...
Autistic hypnotist: “look around my eyes”
An autistic hypnotist has reasonably adjusted his job role by masking his lack of eye contact with clever trickery, it has been rumoured. Anand Trivedi, 49, manages to avoid making eye contact with his subjects by looking between, or around, their eyeballs. Trivedi explained: “They...
Thank fuck! Autistic woman discovers dentist can’t actually arrest her
An autistic woman has expressed relief at discovering that her dentist does not have powers of arrest, despite the tone of his reminder messages. Freya Emerson, 42, described a sense of panic upon receiving several ominous communications from dentist Robert Noot, 55, alerting her that...
Artificial unintelligence? Autistic woman pretends to be less smart
An autistic woman has revealed the key to building social relationships is pretending she doesn’t know stuff, according to reports. Siobhan Moorton, 37, from Gawsworth, has honed the art of feigning total ignorance about specialist subjects she’s spent years learning about – in an attempt...
“I’m a bit OCD” claims woman who has to a bit avoid cracks in pavement or family will a bit die
A woman who has insisted she’s “a bit OCD” is – in fact – not. Karen Hoyland, 46, made the comment to explain why she likes things neat and tidy – but after being challenged by an actual OCD sufferer, has doubled down on her...
Non-autistic woman enjoys special interest to despairingly normal levels
An autistic woman has found a non-autistic colleague’s lack of interest in something they claimed to enjoy immensely troubling, sources have confirmed. When Emma Bernard, 31, learned her co-worker Miya Wilkes, 34, liked British sitcom The Royle Family, she couldn’t wait to re-enact every...
“Zombie” just autistic person with sleep disorder
A terrifying pasty-skinned wreck spotted shuffling towards the bus stop has turned out to be an autistic person with Delayed Sleep Phase Disorder, authorities have claimed. Kit McGodden, 37, from Harpurhey, was misidentified as being one of the living dead after they were seen staggering...
I lived it! Autistic woman misdiagnosed as vampire
A 39-year-old woman has finally received an autism diagnosis after years of being misdiagnosed as a bloodsucking creature of the night, it has been announced. Siobhan Moorton’s autistic traits were reportedly missed due to the sheer volume that overlapped with vampirism. Moorton explained: “My light...
Autistic woman who “loves everything fall” breaks leg tumbling from window
A autistic woman who saw several Instagram posts captioned “get fall ready” took this as a literal instruction and has hurled herself from an upstairs window, reports have indicated. Sarah Harrow, 33, from Huddersfield, hates pumpkin-spice lattes, but loves the feeling of descending from a...
Phew! Woman with body dysmorphia actually looking at reflection in spoon
An autistic woman who has always hated her body has discovered that while this is mostly due to patriarchal beauty standards, it is also due to her having always used a spoon to view her reflection. Emma Bernard, 35, had suffered from body dysmorphia her...
