“Is it my period?” wonders woman who is clinically insane regardless
A woman considered generally unstable at the best of times is wondering whether her period might be to blame, according to reports. Ellie Mulligan, 31, from Prestwich, insists her mood fluctuations are related to a specific phase of her menstrual cycle – despite being objectively...
Woman who told depressed friend to “reach out” didn’t mean to HER
A woman who told her clinically depressed autistic friend to reach out if she felt bad meant for her to reach out to someone else, it has been confirmed. Karen Hoyland, 38, told Emma Bernard, 34, that she should “talk to someone about these feelings,”...
Helpful mum LOVES commenting on daughter’s eating habits
A mother’s favourite pastime is commenting on her adult autistic daughter’s eating habits “out of concern for her wellbeing,” reports have indicated. Liz Thomas, 54, from Huyton – who was recently heard describing 0% fat soya yogurt as “moreish” – is horrified that her daughter,...
Prodigy! Undiagnosed autistic woman really good at eating disorder
An undiagnosed autistic woman has discovered she’s absolutely amazing at having an eating disorder. Paige Thomas, 19, from Elton, has an innate talent for using food to regulate uncomfortable emotions – as opposed to actually feeling them. “It’s absolutely foolproof,” Thomas told us proudly. “To...
Disabled friend doesn’t particularly want your Not-Covid either
Your disabled friend isn’t exactly thrilled about the idea of getting whatever horrible lurgy you’ve reassured them isn’t Covid, it has been revealed. In a statement released today, your disabled friend clarified that yes, they’re keen to avoid Covid at all costs, but you still...
Woman disappointed they don’t grade autism assessments
An autistic woman has reportedly been left devastated upon discovering that her autism assessment was simply pass or fail. Despite Paige Thomas, 27, diligently preparing for her appointment by revising every detail of her life to date, providing copious written course work and extra assignments...
So brave! Autistic woman opts for slightly different ready meal
In a self-described “moment of madness”, an autistic woman has purchased a supermarket ready meal for tonight that wasn’t her normal one, it has been rumoured. Emma Bernard, 27, from Derby, usually buys the spinach and ricotta cannelloni from Tesco Express on a Friday evening...
Sporty autistic begins life in exile
An autistic person who recently started exercising by choice has been cast out by their own people, according to reports. Freya Emerson, 31, from Cheetham, made the shock decision to “take up jogging” three months ago in the hope that it would “really help with...
Study suggests autism can be reversed by just shoving kids back up there
Autism can be reversed by simply turning around and re-entering the womb, a new study has revealed. The study, conducted on triplets in America, discovered that autism could become “reduced to an indistinguishable level” if children with autism are willing to go through what researchers...
Autistic woman “not qualified” to diagnose own personality, say experts
A woman who identifies with every element of the autistic experience based on a lifetime of living in her own brain and body is “not qualified” to say she’s actually autistic, experts have claimed. Paige Thomas, 38, who has extreme sensory aversions, is exhausted by...
