Lifesaver! Woman donates autism to seriously neurotypical mother
A woman has reportedly given her seriously neurotypical mother the ultimate gift – the gift of autism. According to sources, Natasha Weaving, 33, from Stafford, couldn’t bear to see her mother Olivia Buckingham, 63, struggling with her neurotypical brain and so generously shared her own...
Autistic women “chameleon-like” due to their long sticky tongues, say experts
Autistic women are indeed like “chameleons” but for rather different reasons than initially thought, experts have discovered. The average autistic woman is believed to have a tongue length of at least 10 to 12 feet, roughly twice the length of their body, and is thought...
Autistic woman celebrates rare burst of energy by running herself into the ground again
An autistic woman experiencing a rare burst of energy has decided to mark the occasion by doing all the things that exhausted her in the first place. Navya Randhawa, 36, was recently forced to take a week off work following a debilitating episode of burnout...
Trust your gut? Autistic woman’s intuition feels pretty much the same as generalised anxiety disorder
An autistic woman told by her therapist to “trust your instincts” is reportedly struggling to discern her instincts from her debilitating anxiety disorder. Alma Montague, 34, could be holed up indoors with the curtains drawn because of her irrational terror of the outside world –...
Autistic toddler hitting all developmental milestones realises she’s inadvertently fucked it
An autistic toddler who has hit all of her developmental milestones on time has realised she may have unintentionally shot herself in the foot. Lottie Fitzgerald, three, displays a number of typical autistic traits – although her attempts at mimicking neurotypical communication have completely fooled...
Woman wishes she was in fact less aware of eating disorder this week
An autistic woman would love to be less aware of her eating disorder during Eating Disorder Awareness Week, it has been reported. According to sources, Natasha Weaving, 33, from County Durham, would quite like to exchange the constant calorie-counting monologue in her brain for a...
Autism assessment questionnaire designed to personally attack you
An autism assessment quiz has reportedly been designed to obliterate your sense of self worth – yes, you, specifically. The questionnaire, which is supposedly meant to indicate whether or not you’re autistic, is actually out to roast every flaw you’ve ever been insecure about. Dr....
“So it’s a mental disorder?” Neurotypical woman making right hash of asking you about autism
A non-autistic woman trying to ask you about “your autism” has already fucked it by calling it “your autism”, sources have stated. Karen Hoyland, 42, doesn’t want to pry into your “condition” but also very much does want to pry – and if she can...
Outlier! Newly diagnosed autistic woman has no plans to write memoir
A woman who very recently discovered she is autistic has today made the shocking announcement that she has no imminent plans to write an autobiography. Siobhan Moorton, a white middle-class woman who was diagnosed as autistic last month at the age of 30, has defied...
Miracle! Autistic woman answers “how are you?” and barely mentions explosive poops
An autistic woman whose colleague politely enquired about her well-being has somehow responded without going into traumatic detail about last night’s poop attack, it has been rumoured. Paige Thomas, 32, was greeted by in the usual manner receptionist by Jack Harrington, 26, when she arrived...
