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    Health, News

    Chronically ill autistic woman officially on enough meds to open underground pharmacy  

    A chronically ill autistic woman is officially on enough medication to start a lucrative side hustle, it has been revealed.  Alma Montague, 39, who has so many comorbidities she can sing their acronyms to the tune of Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious, realised recently that she now owns so...
    Sara Gibbs, 1 hour ago 1 min read  
    Beauty, Fashion, Lifestyle, News

    Autistic woman without defined aesthetic “basically worthless” says Internet 

    An autistic woman who is neither conventionally hot nor fashionable has been deemed worthless by social media, sources have said. Ffiona Maw, 25, enjoys posting unedited photos of her day-to-day life online, but has recently been informed by her followers that autistic women are not...
    Sarah Amero, 23 hours ago 1 min read  
    News

    AuDHD woman regrets telling everyone about craft project   

    An AuDHD woman has come to “sorely regret” telling everyone who’d listen about the Barbie Dreamhouse she started building six months ago, it has been rumoured. Beth Hapworth, 38, who wasn’t allowed a Barbie Dreamhouse as a child, embarked upon the project as a way...
    Sara Gibbs, 2 days ago 2 min read  
    News, Politics

    Missing! “Autistic sense of justice” nowhere to be found when it’s time to talk about race 

    A woman’s “autistic sense of justice” has been reported missing after it failed to appear when it was time to talk about racism in the autistic community, sources have said. Beth Hapworth, 26, uses her online platform to advocate for “all autistic people”, in the...
    Sarah Amero, 3 days ago 2 min read  
    Friendships, News, Relationships

    “We mustn’t leave it so long next time” says AuDHD friend who’ll see you in a decade  

    An AuDHD friend who has vowed to get better at staying in touch will see you whenever the next parent dies, sources have confirmed.  Jay Chester, 40, can’t believe it’s been so long since you last met up and genuinely intends to remedy the issue...
    Sara Gibbs, 4 days ago 2 min read  
    News

    TV character’s autism metaphor getting increasingly abstract 

    The token autistic character on a TV show has explained neurodivergence using the most convoluted metaphor possible, according to reviewers. The latest episode of Spectra, a sitcom about a quirky autistic woman trying to fit in with her neurotypical flatmates, has been met with confusion...
    Sarah Amero, 5 days ago 2 min read  
    Health, News

    Why do you ask? Hypermobile woman IS comfortable sitting like that 

    A hypermobile autistic woman is reportedly perfectly comfortable sitting like her legs are on backwards, why do you ask? Krista Shure, 44, who eyewitnesses claim has the flexibility of a newborn infant, told reporters she has “no idea” why people keep asking if she’s OK...
    Sara Gibbs, 6 days ago 1 min read  
    Friendships, News

    Housemates’ conflicting sensory needs predicted to result in horrifying bloodbath 

    A neurodivergent household in which individuals have differing sensory needs is a situation that can only end in some sort of four-way duel, experts have warned. The warning came after residents of a suburban dwelling in Nottingham recently reported an ambulance permanently parked outside their...
    Laura Richmond, 1 week ago 2 min read  
    Health, News

    Autistic woman experiencing flare up of chronic special interest 

    An autistic woman is experiencing a severe episode of a debilitating long-term special interest, sources have revealed. Megan Aldrich, 47, has lived with a life-altering obsession with the detective novelist Agatha Christie since she was seven years old, but until recently believed she had the...
    Andrew Hickey, 1 week ago 2 min read  
    Health, News

    Essential oils fail to cure child’s autism, succeed in making her smell like cat piss 

    A mother’s attempt to cure her child’s autism using essential oils has only resulted in making her smell as if a cat has urinated all over her, witnesses have claimed. Ellie Mulligan, seven, had just gotten ready for school when her mother smeared her with...
    Sarah Amero, 1 week ago 1 min read  
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