“All-or-nothing” AuDHDer going for “nothing” again
An AuDHD student who describes themselves as an “all-or-nothing” person has chosen “nothing” again, eyewitnesses have claimed. Des Ackerman, 20, reportedly struggles to start assignments unless they know they can finish the whole thing in a day. However, given how difficult it is to apply...
AuDHDer in denial not giving up on piano this time
An AuDHD man is definitely not going to give up on the piano, no matter what everything else about his life and prior experiences may suggest, optimistic sources have reported. Mac Wheatley, 47, has committed to becoming a virtuoso on the instrument, the playing of...
Autistic woman disappointed to discover “adult colouring book” not sexually explicit
The adult entertainment industry is facing tough questions after concerns were raised about the underwhelming and entirely unsexy content of their colouring books, it has been revealed. Autistic customer Alma Montague, 41, expressed dismay with her recent purchase, which she was led to believe would...
Autistic woman’s customer service complaint riddled with apologies
An autistic woman has reportedly caused confusion after writing a customer service complaint buried in layers upon layers of apology. Niamh Callaghan, 43, says she thought long and hard about emailing a supermarket chain to complain after she found a live frog in a bag...
A freak in the sheets! Autistic woman unveils sexy new Excel masterpiece
An autistic woman has created a spreadsheet she kind of low-key wants to fuck, eyewitnesses have reported. Freya Emerson, 39, who is rumoured to have a kink for conditional formatting, was keen to state that while the content of the spreadsheet was not, in itself,...
Multiply neurodivergent woman finally collects enough diagnoses for free dark night of the soul
A multiply neurodivergent woman has finally collected enough stamps on her diagnosis loyalty card for a free existential crisis, according to reports. Ima Onwugbenu, 29, has been diligently collecting diagnoses ever since she was diagnosed with autism. She has since amassed a variety of acronyms...
Dying autistic man bequeaths precious collection of unread messages to his family
An autistic man nearing the end of his time on Earth has gathered his family around him to pass on his precious collection of unread messages, according to eyewitnesses. Ben Espenson, 89, has lived a long, autistic life, and has made his peace with the...
Autistic man’s nervous system perfect for combat, horrible for filing tax return
An autistic man’s physiological makeup makes him ideal for hand-to-hand combat but not for everyday tasks like telling the government about money he’s already spent, it has been reported. Yuichi Suzuki, 39, experiences a surge of adrenaline whenever he sees the blue GOV.UK banner, which...
Steal her look! Autistic woman throws makeup in general direction of face and prays
An autistic woman’s makeup routine is held together solely by concealer and prayers, according to rumours. Freya Emerson, 25, was reportedly never taught how to do her makeup, nor can she seem to retain anything useful from makeup tutorials other than “start by looking like...
AuDHD movie buff has sorta kinda half watched all the classics
An AuDHD film fanatic has “basically got the gist” of most of the films they’ve listed on their Letterboxd account, sources have claimed. Des Ackerman, 45, who considers cinema a special interest, can reportedly sort-of kind-of talk knowledgeably about the difference between Criterion and Masters...
