The adult entertainment industry is facing tough questions after concerns were raised about the underwhelming and entirely unsexy content of their colouring books, it has been revealed.
Autistic customer Alma Montague, 41, expressed dismay with her recent purchase, which she was led to believe would be a relaxing and horny experience.
Montague said: “When my therapist suggested adult colouring books for my mental health, I assumed I’d have a really good look at some pictures of boobs, perhaps titillate them with my coloured pencils, have a wank, and feel better.”
“Instead, it was page after page of fucking mandalas. How am I supposed to get myself off to the concept of the spiritual aspect of human existence?”
“I’ve seen adult films and bought adult toys and not once was I induced into a meditative state through the medium of elaborate symmetrical designs. I can only conclude that these so-called ‘adult’ colouring books have been mis-sold on purpose to stop me from getting off.”
Montague has since resolved to launch her own line of adult colouring books, entitled ‘Phwoartercolours.’
Like what you’re reading? Make us your new special interest! Help us grow The Daily Tism by sharing our articles, following us on Instagram, Bluesky, Threads and Facebook, shouting us a coffee on Ko-Fi or joining our bonus-content-packed Club for Terrible Autistics by subscribing to our Patreon. We also now have merch! Check out your favourite headlines in comfy wearable form over on Teemill.
You can also watch episodes one and two of our sketch show, The Daily Tism News, in collaboration with Turtle Canyon Comedy, or listen to episode three in audio form – and tune into our podcast, Autistic Women Oversharing to find out WAY too much about our writers.
