An autistic woman is reportedly debating between a seriously unfunny joke or an earnestly heartfelt Valentine’s Day card, it has been rumoured.
Beth Hapworth, 32, from Elton, has spent three hours and 42 minutes despairing in the stationery aisle of her local Tesco Express, due to her determination to hunt down “exactly the right card” for boyfriend Dexter Livingstone, 34.
“There’s the peas with the faces on them, or the cinnamon buns with faces on them, or the sushi rolls with a faces on them,” Hapworth explained. “I’m just trying to work out which one most accurately represents our couple dynamic.”
Hapworth continued: “It’s either that or a ‘to the most wonderful partner in the world’. Which seems a bit of a stretch. I’ve only known the man eight months. And I don’t like the way he holds a fork.”
“Fuck me, why does everything have to have a face on it?”
Hapworth was last spotted wondering aloud whether to also purchase a terrifying bug-eyed bear carrying its heart outside of its body, adding: “From a medical perspective, that’s terrifying.”
Like what you’ve read so far? Make us your new special interest! Help us grow The Daily Tism by sharing our articles, following us on Instagram, Bluesky TikTok, Threads and Facebook and subscribing to our Patreon for exclusive content that’ll have your neurotypical family saying “I’m not sure I’m the target audience”.
