An autistic man has been enjoying a relaxing five months of peace at a snowed-in hotel over winter with absolutely no urge to murder anyone, sources have reported.
Jack Torrance, 43, has reportedly been having a great time at the Overlook Hotel, apparently relishing the tremendous sense of isolation that would have driven a normie insane.
Torrance explained: “When I’m not writing or completing my caretaker duties I’m exploring the hedge maze, staring at the patterns in the carpets, or riding my son’s tricycle around the hallways,” he said. “All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy! Weeeeeeeeeeeeeee!”
“Plus these are great employers. They gave me this room full of Cornflakes and this extra-sharp axe.
“They even left me some records to play: High-Pitched Violin Sounds vol. 3, Ominous Creaking: The Complete Collection and Heartbeats and Theremins; they said they’d be great for listening to while staring unblinkingly out of the windows and developing murderous cabin fever, but honestly I’m fine. I’ve got Spotify.”
“It probably helps that there’s nobody around to murder. This place is so big, I haven’t seen my wife and kid in weeks. I’m sure they’ll turn up. In the meantime, the booze keeps refilling itself. I wish I could stay here forever and ever and ever.”
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