An autistic man who has intentionally grown a luscious and full beard/moustache combination on his own actual face is filled with a sense of visceral horror of food coming anywhere near it, according to sources.
Mac Wheatley, 36, purposefully grew the collection of thick, dark hairs out of the skin on his face and around his mouth, and yet seems permanently surprised and revolted when food gets near them, in spite of his mouth being his main method of acquiring food.
Speaking to reporters, Wheatley said, “Oh God it’s horrid. I go to take a bite out of a burger and I end up with ketchup in my moustache and melted cheese caught in the hairs on my chinny chin chin! It’s an absolute sensory nightmare! There’s simply no way I could have expected this to happen!”
When asked whether shaving the beard off would be a potential solution to his worries, Wheatley replied, “Oh absolutely not. Then my face feels all weird and naked, and I walk round looking like a really old baby.”
At the time of publication, Wheatley was sitting in a restaurant in front of a spaghetti bolognese, sweating profusely.
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