Outrage! Woman’s neurotype that explains entire life is her whole personality
An autistic woman has allegedly bored friends and family members to tears after “making autism her entire personality”, say reports. Beth Haworth, 29, from Chester, was diagnosed six months ago – and hasn’t stopped obsessively researching her lifelong autistic brain on the Internet ever since....
Study finds autistic child refusing to smile simply unamused
New evidence has uncovered the most likely reason why autistic children don’t grin back at you — they simply think you’re dull. Behavioural experts have been monitoring Lottie Fitzgerald, three, who had remained stony faced throughout her parents’ attempts to entertain her. The couple from...
Scientists discover first cat without autism
Scientists believe they have finally discovered the world’s first neurotypical cat, a new study has revealed. Quiche, three, is a remarkably non-jumpy, non-erratic British shorthair who adores fireworks, the slamming of doors, and most notably, the clattering of a fork on the kitchen tiles. Autism...
Girlboss! Undiagnosed autistic woman starts career as psychiatric patient
A woman without a formal autism diagnosis is expected to have a long and fulfilling career as a patient in a psychiatric hospital, sources have said. Beth Hapworth, 24, from Wigan, is reportedly “thrilled” to have her personality traits and interests described as “obsessive” and...
Autistic chef uses fidget square to bake teeny tiny cakes
An autistic chef has found an unusual use of a sensory bubble fidget square – baking the most minuscule cakes imaginable. Natasha Weaving, 45, from Ormskirk said: “As a Christmas stocking filler, it felt somewhat clichéd and a tad patronising. Especially when I’d asked for...
Autistic Goldilocks rejects bears’ porridge due to needing very particular spoon
An autistic woman has declined three bowls of porridge belonging to three bears due to requiring a specific spoon to eat them with, it has been reported. The woman, 21, a petty criminal from Sherwood, known only by her gang nickname, Goldilocks, allegedly snuck in...
Autistic woman hides crush by just being weird with everybody
An autistic woman has identified a foolproof way of obscuring her romantic feelings – by ensuring every encounter is as sufficiently weird as the last one. And according to Paige Thomas, 29, from Stockport – she’s never even had to try. “I just behave strangely...
Organised! Woman already in touch with therapist after family Christmas
An autistic woman has already contacted her therapist to arrange a session after spending Christmas in her childhood home, reports have indicated. Miya Wilkes, 29, made the decision to return to her hometown of Runcorn during the festive period, in the vague hope that it...
New Year’s resolution! Autistic person proposes Meet-Free Mondays
An autistic person has confirmed their New Year’s resolution is adopting “Meet-Free Mondays”, according to reports. Jay Chester, 34, from Preston, said: “I’ve gave up eating animals ages ago. This is about me enjoying my Richmond meat-free sausages in a solitary space where nobody else...
Fucked it! Autistic woman hurls 2025 diary into volcano after making minor error on first page
An autistic woman has insisted she has “absolutely fucked it” after making a slight spelling mistake on the first page of her 2025 diary, sources have confirmed. Natasha Weaving, 34, from Rhyl, had just written down a resolution to be more “environmentally friendly” in the...
