“I’d be up for that” says autistic person who will absolutely cancel
An autistic person has cheerfully responded to plans in a WhatsApp group chat knowing full well they intend to back out later, according to reports. Jay Chester, 28, from Ellesmere Port, reportedly sent non-committal messages to the group such as “that sounds great” and “oh,...
It wasn’t meant to be, says autistic woman after 978th failed job interview
An autistic woman emerging from yet another catastrophic job interview has reportedly consoled herself by saying it just wasn’t meant to be – the world of employment, that is. Emma Bernard, 34, from Widnes, came to the realisation after being rejected from yet another admin...
You don’t look autistic! Woman looking increasingly pissed off now
An autistic woman who was told that she “doesn’t look autistic” by a man she met eight minutes ago is looking more and more furious by the minute, it has been rumoured. Emma Bernard, 27, who endured the exchange whilst sat in an Avanti...
Lifesaver! Woman donates autism to seriously neurotypical mother
A woman has reportedly given her seriously neurotypical mother the ultimate gift – the gift of autism. According to sources, Natasha Weaving, 33, from Stafford, couldn’t bear to see her mother Olivia Buckingham, 63, struggling with her neurotypical brain and so generously shared her own...
Autistic women “chameleon-like” due to their long sticky tongues, say experts
Autistic women are indeed like “chameleons” but for rather different reasons than initially thought, experts have discovered. The average autistic woman is believed to have a tongue length of at least 10 to 12 feet, roughly twice the length of their body, and is thought...
Red-handed! Autistic woman caught on Ring doorbell rehearsing conversation
An autistic woman has been captured on her doorbell camera rehearsing social interactions, eyewitnesses have reported. Emma Wilkes, 29, from Warrington – who installed the camera after a security scare – noticed last week that she’d been practising mini conversations with herself before entering her...
Autistic woman tries her luck with “Let’s leave it until after Pancake Day” email
An autistic woman is reportedly hoping her “let’s leave it until after Pancake Day” suggestion will successfully discourage unwanted work requests. Despite having recently returned from Christmas leave, Emma Bernard, 29, from Stockport, is said to be looking forward to “a well-deserved break” over what...
Autistic woman’s best version of herself is The Sims version of herself
An autistic woman has been distraught to discover that the best version of herself only exists within a life-simulation video game, it has been announced. Sarah Harrow, 24, from Nantwich, boasts to prospective employers that she owns three properties, five Birthday Hot Tubs and has...
Support dog helping autistic person cope with neurotypical family
A support dog is transforming the life of an autistic person by helping them cope with their neurotypical relatives, it has been reported. Barclay – a three-year-old Labrador retriever – helps Jay Chester, 18, endure the trials and tribulations of living with a family that...
Woman wishes she was in fact less aware of eating disorder this week
An autistic woman would love to be less aware of her eating disorder during Eating Disorder Awareness Week, it has been reported. According to sources, Natasha Weaving, 33, from County Durham, would quite like to exchange the constant calorie-counting monologue in her brain for a...
