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    Elsa Williams

    Elsa Williams is a comedy writer from the North West. She’s written for Newsjack and The Independent, and was shortlisted for Sid Gentle’s Thousand Films Screenwriting Competition. She once got visibly excited for a pasta pot on the way to somebody's funeral.
    News, Work

    Autistic woman just socialising through lifelong social hangover 

    An autistic woman enduring a daily social hangover has resolved to keep on socialising until the headaches subside – despite having felt this way for nearly half her life, sources have indicated. Sarah Harrow, 33, from Halton, repeatedly downs additional shots of chat after a...
    Elsa Williams, 11 hours ago 2 min read  
    News

    Wow! This autistic woman’s superpower is not understanding her feelings 

    An autistic woman has been gifted with the superhuman ability to not understand how she’s feeling about a single thing at any given moment, eyewitnesses have claimed. Miya Wilkes, 29, was blessed with an innate proclivity for having zero sense of what that the Perpetual...
    Elsa Williams, 5 days ago 1 min read  
    News, Work

    “Innocent looking” autistic woman hiding thoughts of obscene filth 

    An autistic woman mistaken for being “naïve” and “a total sweetheart” is concealing a rank and sordid mind of darkness and debauchery, it has been rumoured. Despite her cheerful, open smile and guileless expression, Kelsey Dacey, 32, constantly daydreams about Satanic rituals, mutual masturbation and...
    Elsa Williams, 7 days ago 1 min read  
    News

    Autistic woman afraid to tarnish new notebook with bland insipid little life 

    An autistic woman is terrified of ruining a new notebook with her unoriginal, humiliating internal monologue, sources have revealed. Emma Bernard, 29, who purchased the A5 floral-patterned notebook last week while visiting an art gallery, is reportedly determined that it will remain on the shelf...
    Elsa Williams, 2 weeks ago 1 min read  
    Health, News

    Autistic woman sets new world record in running from demands 

    An autistic woman has set a new world record for speed in avoiding all direct requests made of her, it has been reported. Ffiona Maw, 29, has managed to successively run away from all tasks that have been required from her since 2011 – including...
    Elsa Williams, 2 weeks ago 1 min read  
    News

    Friend autistic woman likes but wasn’t expecting to see might as well be Slenderman 

    An autistic woman who unexpectedly bumped into a good friend while out is reportedly unsure of why she’s reacted like she’s encountered a terrifying creature coming at her with outstretched limbs. Beth Hapworth, 31, from Ormskirk, was taking a pleasant evening stroll around her local...
    Elsa Williams, 3 weeks ago 2 min read  
    News

    Autistic Dorothy just trying to get back to nice, dark Kansas 

    An autistic teenager transported into magical a world of technicolour has reportedly been left “desperate” to find her way home, away from all the horrible technicolour. Dorothy Gale, 16, from Kansas, described the land of Oz as “ow, my eyes”. Gale commented: “To be honest,...
    Elsa Williams, 3 weeks ago 1 min read  
    Friendships, News

    Friend still fuming at you for skipping her birthday drinks shares autism awareness post 

    Your neurotypical friend who was seething at you for days for prematurely leaving her social gathering has just reposted a touching Instagram story honouring autism awareness, according to reports. Lottie Fitzgerald, 26, shared the infographic of a lone puzzle piece captioned, “really important to be...
    Elsa Williams, 4 weeks ago 2 min read  
    News, Work

    Tragic! Autistic woman meets all job requirements except sparkling charisma 

    An autistic woman who meets every one of a job’s specifications has been left dismayed to discover she also needed a PhD in ungodly amounts of charm, it has been reported. Paige Thomas, 31, from Doncaster, has three degrees and almost a decade of relevant...
    Elsa Williams, 4 weeks ago 1 min read  
    News

    Streaming service that removed your autistic comfort show admits targeted attack 

    A streaming service that silently deleted your favourite autistic comfort series has admitted it was purely with the intention of pissing you off, it has been reported. The streaming service confessed: “We saw you restarting the same episode over and over every time things were...
    Elsa Williams, 1 month ago 2 min read  
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