An autistic woman who doesn’t know how to behave around people she is attracted to has resorted to taking cues from lovelorn men in ’00s R&B videos, it has been claimed.

Chi-Young Lee, 29, says it is “impossible” to talk to the cute girl from her local book group, but retreating to the top of a hill to spin around in the rain and clutch her chest in despair is much more feasible.

Lee said: “Why would I tell Miya I like her, when I can walk a respectable distance behind her, only to be overcome by love and longing so profound I have to slam myself back against a brick wall and do some impassioned body rolls?”

“I’ve got to go. I’m late for my sad shower, in which I sing in the shower and don’t actually shower. Then I get out of the shower, not having showered, to stare at myself in the mirror and think about what a flawed person I am.”

A spokesman for the Association of Handsome Nineties-Noughties Triple Threats said: “I think Ms. Lee is missing a key point here: we were only pretending to be bad at getting girlfriends because it sold records. She probably bought it because so many of us turn out to be really good actors too.”


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