An autistic man attempting to make small talk with a man servicing his boiler has finally resorted to straight-up Ask Jeeves-ing it, sources have reported.

Aidan Michaels, 29, began to realise he was in trouble conversationally after a brief foray into the topic of the weather sputtered out after both parties noted that it was, indeed, “quite mild today”.

“Then I tried talking about my favourite things: network cables, first person zombie games, and Babylon 5. Weirdly, there was no uptake,” Michaels explained. “Maybe he’s more into Deep Space 9?”

Unfortunately, Michaels is the only member of the household who’s eligible to interact with the unwelcome visitor due to his proximity to masculinity. His partner, Beth Hapworth, 28, has noped out of conversations with manual labourers due to a lifetime of patronising. 

“The last guy who came to the house spent 10 minutes explaining to me how to open my own fucking window,” she commented. “Now I hide down the bottom of the garden until they’ve definitely gone.”

After a few minutes’ scrolling his phone and awkwardly lurking in his own bedroom, Michaels finally blurted out, “So, er, how ’bout those team sports?”

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