An autistic boy who was greeted by his family with a sarcastic “so nice of you to finally join us” is reportedly planning to spend the rest of his adolescence barricaded in his room.
15-year-old Naveed Azkhat thought he’d pop downstairs after catching a promising whiff of spaghetti bolognese, but his rare appearance was immediately noted by his visiting aunt, 46-year-old Navya Randhawa, who loves commenting on everything her nephew does during the most self-conscious phase of his life.
Azkhat said: “I was hoping Auntie Navya would just take my appearance in stride, but, silly me, I forgot I was born into the goddamn panopticon.”
“I said ‘Hi’ and she crowed ‘He speaks!’, before giving me the third degree about whether I’ve got a girlfriend, whether I want to tutor her kids for free, and whether I’m getting taller – to which the answers are ‘mind your business’, ‘piss off’ and ‘duh’.”
When asked what it would take for him to venture downstairs again, Azkhat replied: “House fire, burglary, or an act of God, and to be honest I’d still hesitate.”
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