An autistic woman who has claimed that 2026 will be “her year” reportedly said the same thing about 2025 and is living in total denial about how that turned out.

Merve Öztürk, 30, was sure at the end of 2024 that the following year she’d move to a new place, start dating again and finally go to Japan. What actually happened was that she had multiple brushes with death, had a mental breakdown in July and a separate unrelated one in September, and attending three weddings as a plus-one somehow cost her £1000.

Öztürk said: “Okay, so 2025 wasn’t my year, but 2026 is going to be amazing. As long as nothing unexpected happens, I don’t get overwhelmed by the sheer relentlessness of adulthood and everyone is excessively and unfailingly nice to me.”

“To make sure 2026 gets off to the best start possible, I’ve booked a few eight-week courses that I think are going to make me a better person. 2025 was woefully devoid of improv classes, and I think that was part of the problem.”

“And when I finish those courses, I won’t have to take any more ever again, because life will be perfect, and I’ll be too busy frolicking amidst the cherry blossoms with a man who is madly in love with me.”

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