An autistic man with PDA has resolved to have the worst day of his life after a customer service representative told him to ‘have a nice day’, sources have revealed.
Aidan Michaels, 42, had spent a gruelling half hour on the phone to a utility company after receiving an unexpectedly high bill. Before hanging up, the representative wished him a nice day.
“Honestly, I’m livid,” said Michaels. “For a start, clearly I am already not having a nice day because I’m on the phone to the electricity company and that is not nice. Telling me to have a nice day is effectively mocking me for the nice day I’m not having.”
“Secondly, it’s insincere. Gavin at British Gas doesn’t know me and he doesn’t give a shit about my day. He’s probably reading from a script. He’s probably not even a real bloke, but a robot or an AI or something, some tech bro’s vanity project funded by my extortionate energy bills.”
“Thirdly, no one gets to tell me what sort of day to have. It’s my day. It’s up to me whether I decide to have a nice one, an indifferent one, an exciting one, a quiet one, or a violently distressing one.”
Michaels immediately set out to sabotage the rest of his day by shaving off his beard on only one side of his face, breaking up with his partner, and setting his house on fire.
“Tell me to have a nice day now, motherfuckers!” he screamed, as all his worldly possessions sank into the flames.
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