A “pioneering” autistic woman has managed to take a social interaction in which a stranger takes a deep-dive into one’s genitalia and make it even more stressful, sources have confirmed.
When Lottie Fitzgerald, 38, entered the clinic room for her routine cervical screening appointment, she reportedly noticed that the nurse was retrieving a large wooden box from underneath the desk and was “alarmed” to discover that the box contained a head torch.
Fitzgerald commented: “What the hell? I know I’ve had a baby but the situation’s not that dire. I’m not fucking Cheddar Gorge.”
“Unfortunately, I may have said exactly this out loud to the nurse. I have this filter between what I think and what I say, and when I’m stressed, the filter gets sort of porous and my thoughts spill out like hot coffee, scalding everyone in the process.”
“The nurse replied that it’s dark up there,” Fitzgerald continued. “I’ll have a landing strip installed, shall I?”
“Unfortunately, I may have said that out loud too. And this whole conversation was going on while she’s rummaging around the Batcave. I call it the Batcave, although there are no bats in there, to my knowledge. We’ll see what the results of the test say.”
The nurse was unavailable for comment. Fitzgerald has proposed sending a rescue mission into her vagina in case the nurse is lost or trapped by falling debris.
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