An autistic woman has been hailed as “inspirational” after ditching coffee in favour of a beverage which better reflects who she is as a person, sources have revealed. 

Talia Cohen, 33, drank coffee in the mornings because everyone else seemed to be doing that, so she assumed it was the normal thing to do – even though privately she thought it tasted like batteries. Now she claims she is never going back.

“I’m disrupting neuronormative culture and peeling away the layers of my internalised ableism,” explained Cohen. “How am I doing that? Oh, I’m drinking custard. Fucking gallons of the stuff.”

“My therapist has been encouraging me to find small ways to unmask. I don’t think this is what she had in mind, but who cares, because I refuse to conform to expectations that centre neurotypical ways of existing in the world.”

“If it’s runny, it’s a beverage. Gravy, anyone?”

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