Headline by Anna Nicholson, winner of our Patreon caption competition. Piece by Sara Gibbs
An autistic woman who thought she was boarding an exclusive stretch limousine has been left “baffled and aggravated” after the driver repeatedly stopped to allow the general public on board, sources have revealed.
Siobhan Moorton, 36, who doesn’t get out much, initially couldn’t believe her luck when the luxury vehicle stopped at the covered bench she happened to be resting on. But her excitement turned to dismay as stranger after stranger boarded, rendering the limousine’s size obsolete.
Moorton said: “In hindsight, having once been in a limo for my cousin’s hen party, the first red flags were the absence of the champagne, hot tub and weird sex lighting.”
“The second red flag was the route the driver was taking,” Moorton continued. “No shade to Slough, but it did take the shine off things when we pulled into the town centre to the view of a man defecating against a wall.”
“The limo is now packed with other people, including a manspreader acquiring territory so aggressively I’m considering calling the UN. Honestly, I should ask for a refund.”
At the time of writing, Moorton had not yet summoned the courage to ask the driver for her £4.50 back.
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