A kindhearted multinational corporation has reportedly granted a small autistic boy’s greatest wish – to become the subject of a wholesome clickbait article promoting their products and services. 

Globalcompanycorp, whose family of brands includes children’s toys, theme parks and ballistic missiles, altruistically gifted seven-year-old Finley Rice the opportunity to inspire an audience of tens of thousands to buy action figures, rollercoaster fastpasses and long-range weaponry. 

PR manager Karen Hoyland, 46, commented: “Finley doesn’t speak. But his parents informed us that if he could, he’d say ‘put me on a corporate Instagram feed, Mummy!’.”

“A lot of thought went into the promotion,” Hoyland continued. “It had to be perfect – for Finley of course. In the end, we went for ‘how this little boy with autism is giving a voice to the voiceless’. And when you click through, it’s a covert ad for water guns that can be adapted for guerrilla warfare – just like Finley wanted.”

Communicating through an AAC device, Finley Rice commented: “Actually I just wanted to go to Legoland.”


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