An autistic woman with impeccable manners is actually just petrified of displeasing you, it has been confirmed.
Emma Bernard, 30, who is often complimented on her friendly demeanour and effusive expressions of gratitude, has attributed her politeness to an extreme fawning response.
Bernard said: “Honestly I can’t take any credit. It’s all down to my parents – they’re the ones who traumatised me. And I’m so grateful that they did.”
“I’m not sure what would happen if I forgot to say ‘please’ or ‘thank you’,” Bernard continued. “I assume it would trigger a giant ‘rude’ alarm, like the blue dye that appears when you pee in a swimming pool. Just an inky, judgmental cloud of shame.”
“Honestly, it’s great,” Bernard added, smiling maniacally. “For everyone else, I mean. But that’s all that matters.”
“If only the whole world lived in constant visceral terror of being in even a tiny bit of trouble. There’d be no more wars.”
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