An autistic woman enduring a daily social hangover has resolved to keep on socialising until the headaches subside – despite having felt this way for nearly half her life, sources have indicated.
Sarah Harrow, 33, from Halton, repeatedly downs additional shots of chat after a full day of knocking back inane work conversations, in the vain hope that powering through will cause it to wear off.
Harrow commented: “For me, an all-day bender means going to work and sitting next to Ann, who routinely talks my ear off about the benefits of Herbalife while offering me a Jammy Dodger.”
“Just as I’m about to keel over, Christine starts playing a video of her granddaughter swinging from some monkey bars,” Harrow continued. “I’m still hoping that one day she’ll fall.”
“By half-past one, I’m fighting a migraine and the overwhelming urge to lie down in the store cupboard with the vacuum cleaner. Instead, I hear myself politely asking after Tricia’s useless husband and miniature toy poodle.”
“I could stop to recuperate, except that would take approximately 11 years,” Harrow added. “So best just keep going. I swear these are getting worse with age.”
Harrow was last seen popping Ibuprofen in the staff toilets, while desperately psyching up her reflection in the mirror to get herself back out there.
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