The sunflower lanyard for hidden disabilities makes for a thoroughly suboptimal chew toy, according to autistic people.
The green and yellow lanyard – which allows you to play a sort of social Russian roulette with the general public – is not particularly pleasant to use as an oral stim, to the dismay of many autistic people.
Stimming connoisseur Naveed Azkhat, 39, said: “The lanyard’s top notes of soap and grass give way to battery acid and asbestos, with a metallic aftertaste that’ll have you wondering if your mouth is bleeding.”
“Don’t be fooled by its smooth weave and durability. The first time it squeaks against your teeth, you will long for the sweet respite of death.”
Christine Smout, 28, said: “Well, yeah. It’s disgusting if you eat it raw. You need to cook it ‘til it’s al dente.”
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