An autistic woman searching Netflix for something new to watch will likely settle on her usual showreel of mortifying life moments that make her wish she’d never been born, it has been rumoured.
Avery Mann, 40, reportedly briefly hovered over Apple Cider Vinegar, before the title reminded her of the time she was 15 and got so wasted on apple cider, she peed on Ryan Wilkins’ carpet and spent the rest of Year 10 with the nickname “Carpet Right”.
Mann told us: “After I watched that one, my brain suggested more memories I might like based on my past viewing – like when I got the words to Longview by Green Day wrong and Olivia Buckingham sang ‘fill me up this well cool sea and get me Moby’ at me until I had to be homeschooled.”
“From there, the brain algorithm fed me saying ‘yaaas queen’ to my niece’s terrifying gang of friends, the time I mispronounced ‘emissary’ and queefing in Dexter Livingstone’s face.”
Mann was last seen lying awake staring at the ceiling, before a message came up asking her if she was still watching.
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